Often, we unknowingly confuse our man or woman with our God. It is so easy to idolize a relationship and think, “when I meet the right person, all my deepest desires will be filled, and I’ll never want again.” Or for those currently dating or married, we think, “when my boyfriend or girlfriend, when my husband or wife becomes a better person, I’ll be happy.”
When I was dating my now husband, I used to wonder why he couldn’t read my mind. Why did he not understand my struggles sometimes? I’d get frustrated when I came to him with my problems and his comments did little to help me feel better. Why was he not fulfilling me completely? ‘He must be the wrong guy for me,’ I thought.
Then I realized, there was nothing wrong with him at all! He was simply human, just like me. No more can he fill my every need than I can fill his. The only relationship that can do that is our personal one with Jesus Christ.
Mr. or Mrs. Right are no more God than you or me. When we set them up on this pedestal, we set them up to disappoint us, and it’s not even their fault.
More recently, my husband and I have been navigating a challenging situation. We are expecting our first child and are so excited to be parents. When we went to our 20-week checkup we learned she is a beautiful baby girl. We also learned she has many development challenges.
Since that appointment, we’ve discovered the likelihood of her having mental and physical disabilities long-term is high, and it’s unknown if she will make it long after birth.
One night after a particularly long day of doctor’s appointments, filled with ups and downs regarding Baby Girls health, my husband and I just finished praying together and he said something profound. He said, “You know Emily, I’m so grateful we worship God and not each other.”
I thought, “Amen!” We can be there for each other, we can support one another, we can even help each other feel better, but we cannot be each other’s God to carry us through this.
I share all of this as an example of how life is going to have its bumps, big and small. You know this … you have had or currently have your own set of challenges set in front of you.
None of us are immune to the hardships of this life. And the great news is God is big enough to handle them.
There are going to be times that life is challenging and only God can help you navigate it. There are even the most basic of days that only God can fill that void we all have inside of us, that our significant other simply can’t. That’s by God’s design because He wants a relationship with you and with me above all else. That’s pretty brilliant on God’s part, don’t you think!?
Your significant other can be lots of things to you, but he or she cannot be your God.
A relationship with another person is incredible, it is good and it is God’s idea. But by no means does that relationship replace our need for God. No human can fill the empty space in our souls like God can.
So, the next time you catch yourself thinking a significant other can take all your problems away, pray that God help you refocus your energy on Him. That He helps you learn to depend on Him alone, and learn to know your significant other as your companion in pursuing God together.